jedibuttercup

One of the most wrenching things about grief, I think, is this feeling of not being able to breathe.

( Cut for more tl;dr about grief, D--, and what comes next... )

Would it be too much, do you think, if I dug around in my photo albums for pix of D-- to take along with the potted flowers when I drop by his parents' house tonight?
~

Something really terrible has happened today. No-- not Granddad. Worse.

There's this family that's lived down the street from mine ever since we moved up from Texas eighteen years ago. Went to the same church for years, their daughter was a year and a half younger than me and their son a few years younger than my brother, and we all got along really well. Their parents and ours still do stuff best-friend-style all the time.

For us, though-- the daughter's married with four babies and I almost never see her; and the son's been in the Army in Korea, so we haven't seen him much in recent years, either. Except he got out just before Christmas. And he and his new wife have been living with his Mom, here, while he arranged things so he could stay in the National Guard, get a regular job, and look for an apartment. I helped him put a resume together just last weekend, so he could look for a job with the local police or correctional institutions.

He went fishing with his brother-in-law today at the coast. Their boat capsized. He was knocked unconscious, according to the brother-in-law, who *was* rescued, and then-- they were separated. They can't find him. His parents took off for the coast with my parents about two and a half hours ago, and I haven't heard anything since. It doesn't look good.

ETA 7PM: For those of you who know this coast-- they were in a little raft-boat up by Pacific City when something happened to the motor, and then it capsized. A-- says he held on to D-- for an hour and a half after it happened, trying to keep them afloat and swallowing water the whole time, before he lost hold of him, and it was awhile longer before Coast Guard picked A-- up. They've found pieces of the boat washing up downcurrent at Neskowin, but no D--; and the water's so cold here-- there's no chance, even if he woke up immediately after A-- lost him, that D-- could have survived. My parents are staying with his at the coast over night; their whole family's there, his wife's been weeping for six hours-- it could be days before they find his body.

I just can't believe it. He was such a good kid-- had his whole life ahead of him. God. Why?
~