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Hard to believe it has been two weeks since Peter took his shuffle off this mortal coil.

It feels like it was just yesterday and a long time ago.

In that time, I have started the movement of all the paperwork to settle the estate. Not a ton there. Peter did the best he could. We had to cash out insurance policies and IRAs to get his income down to something that Medicaid would except. That is one relief for me that we can drop the Medicaid battle. 

However now there is the will and the estate to settle. More paperwork to be done. Monday I find a lawyer since I now have the death certificates in hand. This means social security is now on the list of things to be done. I want to get this done in the most efficient method possible.

Then there are physical things that were Peter’s. Clothing, books, collectables, and other things must be gone through. I will be selling various pieces of the collection to have money to pay for the expenses. How I am going to do it is a little up in the air.

There will be a memorial with all invited in September. It will be around the 23^rd of September which is his 69 birthday.

I picked up his ashes yesterday and, per his request, I put them before his computer keyboard. It’s a good place for them. 

We had fun on Facebook yesterday speculating how many books he had already done in the great beyond. I said two were already published. He typed 174 words a minute. Yes, that is an insane number of words, but he learned typing first on a manual typewriter then on an electric typewriter. I should have recorded the sound of his typing. 

I found the last anniversary card he gave me. It speaks of us as a couple and how we help each other. We always had each other’s backs. 

Peter enjoyed his time with my friends. They knew who he was but to them he was Kath(y)[leen] husband. He got to be himself around them. He didn’t feel the need to be the PETER DAVID, he could be Peter or Pete. Not that he didn’t tell tales about our lives. My friends could match him which he liked. I have a very eclectic set of friends who have done lots of interesting things. It was nice to see him relax and just be himself.

I know he amused the nurses and aids at his rehab facility. They would come to me for verification of those tales. And they would ask me about it. I would confirm he was telling a true life experience. They were impressed. They also told me in a sympathy card how much they liked him as a patient and a person. He tended to make himself beloved.

I miss my soulmate. I see a bad pun or a good joke and think Peter would like it then I remember he’s not here. I say it out loud so if his ghost is kicking the house. There were the discussions in the morning about the day. The lunches. Taking care of the kids. Dinners. Discussions after the day is done. I miss the time we spent together. 

I also remember enjoying our time apart. We were not connected at the hip. There were conventions he went to by himself and the same for me.  I went to lunch at some places around the village. I brought him something back. There were times we went to a film alone because only one of us wanted to see it. We knew we wanted to be together but understood have separate parts of our lives gave us a stronger relationship.

I miss my husband.

I am grateful for the time I had with Peter