jedibuttercup

In 2023, as in 2022, I had three goals: sign up for getyourwordsout again, complete the Triple Crown, and clear off some more of those old request lists and WIPs.

Well, I sort of succeeded? Even if my wordcount went down by quite a bit. There were a few reasons for that, including RL busy-ness and Twisting the Hellmouth deciding to move the August crossover challenge off Livejournal to an inconvenient message board; but also, several of my exchange recipients did not respond to the fic I had written for them. (I love all the rest of you who read and comment, but when I'm writing for somebody specific, getting radio silence from them, for whatever reason, always lets the air out of my balloon a little). I did, however, fill a twelve-year-old prompt off a request list, and revisit some old series that had been languishing for awhile. Still no BAH update; but that thing's kind of a white whale at this point, I'm going to have to clear months off my writing schedule when I finally gird myself to tackle it, I think.

Goals for 2024: Once again, I'm going to sign up for getyourwordsout, complete the exchange Triple Crown, and maybe avoid signing up for quite so many littler exchanges in order to clear time for those lingering WIPs!

( On to the list of fic! )

In 2021, my main fanfic goal was solely to do better than last year's number; though for the second year running, I did set a getyourwordsout target of 200k to keep me moving. I didn't make the 200k, but I did nearly double last year's wordcount, and also completed the triplecrownofexchanges, so I am definitely counting the year as a win.

I even managed to write several fic for the annual Twistedshorts Ficathon, which I passed on in 2020. I think maybe I stopped being quite as depressed about the general state of things and got a little angrier about it? I also kept up with the rotating exchange schedule to provide me with deadlines (and cheer some other people's years up) and somehow managed nearly half of my output in a single fandom, all of which helped with motivation.

Goals for 2022: now that I am recovering my mojo, clear off some more of those old request lists and WIPs! Also, signing up for getyourwordsout and completing the Triple Crown again.

( On to the list of fic! )

Challenge #12 - Commit an Act of Kindness (or two or three ♥). Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post about your experience if you feel comfortable doing so.

Does it count as an act of kindness for this challenge if it's something that came up in the last couple of days that I would have done anyway? *scratches chin*

I agreed to go carpet and furniture shopping with my mother last weekend... and then again later today, when she asked yesterday. Not my preferred way to spend a big chunk of my Saturday two weekends in a row, but. She hates shopping alone. And she often ends up with choice paralysis when shopping for expensive things. My role is usually to help narrow it down to the most likely options and present their most significant pros and cons in a clear manner. I don't mind that much though, so. And we are going to see a movie beforehand as compensation! (Bad Boys for Life.)

I also agreed to cover the phones for lunch yesterday for the gal who mans the front desk at work, so that our supervisor (who's the usual secondary backup, when our primary backup isn't there, as is the case most Fridays) could do time-sensitive errand-y things instead. I have always detested answering the phones with the fire of a thousand suns - but it's something I have developed coping mechanisms for due to my years of temping in admin roles before snagging my current job, and it was only for an hour, so I'd have agreed anyway for that, too?

Hrm: maybe giving a polite, cheerful answer to another entitled inquiry-to-my-inbox about whether I was going to continue a short story written specifically for a challenge because seeing that it was marked finished made them sad? :)

Specifically because the challenge made me think of it, though, a few kindnesses-to-self: on the way home, I picked up a can of chocolate stout and a square of tiramisu to go with my dinner, gave myself permission not to get those last thousand steps to meet my FitBit goal for the day, sat awhile reading with my cat purring in my lap, and went to bed an hour earlier than I had planned to. I do feel better for it today!

I'll keep on looking for more instances where an act of kindness would feel natural rather than something forced, though! I do usually enjoy adding smiles to other people's days, when I have the spoons for it.

Challenge #10 - In your own space, talk About A Creator/Someone Who Inspired You. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

Remembering what in particular may have inspired me to start doing my own creating - I just don't have those memories. As far as I know, wanting to create has always been as much a part of me as my fannishness itself. (I remember how baffled I was the first time some told me they could remember learning how to read and write - I can't remember ever not being able to.)

In terms of specific inspirations, though... it's a boring answer, but. Probably the earliest big one I could point to would be J.R.R. Tolkien. His works have been on my mind a lot since the news about his son's passing last week. My dad had had one of those boxed copies of LOTR and The Hobbit since the 70's, and loaned them to me when I was eight years old. I was already reading middle-grade SFF by that time, but Tolkien's work was in a league beyond that. I was utterly blown away by the depth of his worldbuilding, and as I was too young to look at it really critically, I just-- absorbed, in wonder.

I learned so many words from those books - in plain English, even, not just his created languages - that I pronounced wrong IRL for years because I'd never heard them said aloud. And the time and place, as far removed as it was from our world, seemed so vivid, and deep, and lived in. That's probably when I started constructing elaborate backstories - I suppose what we'd call headcanons these days - for every story or daydream I came up with. I still have binders full of maps and bloodline trees and special jewel definitions for one story in particular I was working on in junior high and high school that definitely owed a lot to Tolkien. I never did finish that one, but I suppose that's where I began the habits that follow me in my fanwriting to this day.

Since then, in general, I like to think I take a little something from everything I enjoy? Every person whose story or post I kudo or comment on or subscribe to; every fanvid I like; every photo I snap of something amazing or striking or interesting on my roadtrips; every time my mother comes up with a new hobby (she always has one, from shirt painting to ceramics to gardening, it varies); every time my dad sat down for an enthusiastic half-hour discussion on some particular plot twist in Harry Potter; every time my brother or maevebran introduces me to a new book series or show they're sure I'll love; it all compounds.

I guess you could say I give back because I've been given to. Because - if something I do brightens even one other person's day the way mine has so often been brightened, everything that went into it was worth it. :)

Challenge #8 - Rec at least three fanworks that you didn’t create. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

So, I don't tend to keep fic bookmarks anymore, unless they were explicitly written for me. I'm the kind of person who remembers the basic plot of a book for years after reading it, and tends to migrate from fandom to fandom anyway, so I'm never going to revisit most of the fics I've read and loved. I leave kudos and sometimes comments; and if I do end up on a story I've read before, enjoy it again, and discover I've already left kudos, well, bonus! But of course this does mean I have a hard time giving fic recs; I can never remember where I found what.

But I do revisit other sorts of fan creations; so have a few recs for those!

The unofficial Firefly-Serenity Chinese Pinyinary. 95% of the Chinese I've ever used in my Firefly fanfics comes from this site. It appears to have been maintained and updated since 2002, at least through 2014, and includes a lot of promotional material and background detail in addition to the actual spoken Chinese in the series and movie.

Similarly, Red Hen Publications: Concerning the Potterverse. I don't agree with every conclusion this essayist comes to, but if you want to know where I got the initial impetus for Back Again, Harry? A good chunk of it came from reading the various analyses on this site, which has also been up since I was just starting out in fic. (I have the link handy because I'm due another reread after Chocolate Box, so I can *crossing fingers* actually get back to work on BAH).

Geocide: How to destroy the Earth, sometimes to cheer me up. Don't ask.

There are also a handful of fanvids I rewatch when I'm in a particular writing mood. They're mostly ancient; I haven't surfed for new ones in years. Let me see if I can track down the most recent links....

Firefly, Mal/River: The Body by obsessive24; also Signal to Noise by thedothatgirl

Harry Potter, Harry: The Boy Was a Puppet by Fabella; Snape: In Exchange for Your Tomorrows by lim

Fast and the Furious, family: good life by cant-fight-the-fanvid; Brian/Dom: MMM Papi by Talitha78; Brian-centric: Glad You Came by lilly_the_kid

Star Trek (2009), Kirk/Spock/Uhura: Apple Candy by Talitha78; All: I'm on a Boat by kiki miserychic; Spock/Kirk: Poker Face by Talitha78; team heist AU: Fortunate Days by Loki; and my fave, that unfortunately seems to be broken everywhere I look, the Kirk-centric Circus by Butterfly. (I was SO in love with this fandom until ID, *sigh*)

... and now that I've been digging into my folders, I'm hungry for vids again; I wouldn't mind a few more recent recs, just about any fandom I'm familiar with, if you have any favorites!

Challenge #6: In your own space, make a list — anything between one and ten things is a sweet spot, but don't feel constrained by that! - of things that you wish existed in fandom or elsewhere, or that you'd like someone to make for you. Are you dying for podfic of your writing? Do you need icons for a character that doesn't get much fanart? Is there a story you want to read? Are you looking for new canons to get into? Would you like a collaborator for a project?

Maybe you want more people to talk about a certain fandom with, or you'd love to trade ficlets with somebody over email. Maybe you're new to a fandom and would like some recs to start reading, or communities to join. This is the time to ask! Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

Hmm. I always feel self-conscious making wishlists like this in public. But here goes...

1. Crossover content

Is there any kind of active crossover content community on Dreamwidth? I loved TtH and all of its spinoffs on its own website and Livejournal challenge comms. But after the move to DW, I never really found a new crossover or multifandom home. I'd love new places to watch and/or participate in.

2. Tag comms

Also, episode tagfic communities: where would I look for those on DW? I remember one of the reasons I went all-in on EUReKA there for awhile was the active LJ tag comm. Exchanges have been easy to find here, but other sorts of challenges, not so much. And I do miss that level of fandom investment.

3. More fan interaction with my stories

I've been lucky enough to have a few of my stories podficced, or translated, or fanarted, or iconned. But I would never turn down more; it delights me every time. I wouldn't mind more people remixing or otherwise subcreating in any of my universes either, as long as they link back to the origin. (The only things I'd put off-limits for 'transformation' are my few marked WIPs; 'finishing' those for me would be more likely to derail me than inspire me.)

4. More fic for my rarepairs

There are several things I've been prompting in exchanges off and on for years that rarely if ever get written, because that's not where fannish interest lies. But if you asked me to start listing them, we'd be here forever, and I'm not good at picking favorites. So, how about I go with the crossover theme, and ask about recs for any crossover pairings featuring fave little black dresses, Buffy Summers and/or Eliot Spencer? *grin* If you have any, I'd love to see them!

Challenge #4 - In your own space, set some goals for the coming year. They can be fannish or not, public or private. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

I've shied away from doing this the last couple of years, due to generally low energy, but I guess it's hard to meet goals if you don't bother to set them in the first place.

Fannish goals? First and foremost, get at least one more chapter out for backagainharry. Of my remaining WIPs, that one haunts me the most; it's already 19 chapters and 70,000+ words in, but I haven't updated since early 2017. *facepalm* After that: participate in this year's slate of exchanges (probably ten or so, plus the August crossover TtH Fic-a-Day) and work on my lingering wishlist prompts.

(I'm beginning to think that part of the reason I've been more in exchanges than any other form of writing lately is that my BFF has all but stopped writing fic herself in the last few years, in favor of crafty RL projects, and also that I moved into a solo apartment in 2017. Since then, writing just for me without someone to bounce things off of in person or an external motivational structure has felt like writing to an echo chamber sometimes. I still get ideas, they just don't make it to the keyboard. I'll just have to figure out a different way to think about it, I suppose. Hopefully getyourwordsout will help with that.)

In RL: I have two upcoming roadtrips - I need to finish the photobook from the last one before either of those happen, and start printing and assembling the best of my landscape photos for display. I've been meaning to do that for years, and I have the perfect wall for it - I've been to so many beautiful places since I started my trips in 2012, I think a wall o'lovely to stare at would help with motivation too. :)

I'd also like to get through more of my pile of unread books, but considering I keep buying more .... So, read at least 100 more books this year, I guess? :) This is also the year my car is officially paid off (yay); and I need to get off my ass and find a new primary doctor so I can start doing wellness checkups (sigh). I am About That Age, so it's time.

Challenge #2 - In your own space, talk about your fannish history. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

Where to start with this one? I literally don't remember when I became a "fan" - my dad grew up watching the original Star Trek show live, and my parents went to see the original Star Wars on a date, and Dad brought home epic fantasy novels (ex: Melanie Rawn's Dragon Prince series) and left them bookmarked in the bathroom all the time, so my brother and I were just naturally around genre properties from our earliest days.

I know TOS was in reruns when I was little; we were allowed two hours of TV per day, and one was usually post-school cartoons, but the other was always, always Star Trek. My first Star Wars in theater was ROTJ when I was a kindergartner. I learned my first French words from Picard swearing on TV, and drank my first flavored tea because of Earl Grey, Hot. Some of the first books I owned were Narnia, Pride and Prejudice, Lord of the Rings, and several Star Trek novels, all before the age of 10. So I was pretty much always doomed to be in the fannish sphere. :)

I also started writing fiction when I was very small; I learned to read when I was three, and I have a copy of a journal published by my first grade school that included the best story submissions from every year level, starting with one written by Wee JB, Aged 5, about a momma cat and her kittens. By high school I was writing the most ridiculous Mary Sue tropes imaginable longhand in notebooks to keep from being bored during class, starring yours truly and all her closest friends becoming spies or learning magic or discovering we were reincarnated historical characters or what have you. (Very, very glad that was all pre-Internet, because the world never needs to see any of it).

I was mostly too busy and tired to keep up with it in college; so falling into online fandom the year after I graduated was a breath of fresh air. I had ideas, and a place to put them, and people would read them and give me feedback! Luckily I started with a fairly popular fandom - the Buffyverse - on a popular site - ff.net - and within a year or two tripped over the crossover site Twisting the Hellmouth. That introduced me to writing for challenges and prompts, which led me to LJ and then DW and finally AO3, and I've never looked back. I flit between fandoms often - I blame that on the ADHD - but have some that I perennially revisit, too. It's harder to write when I'm depressed, but I'm also very aware that creating and publishing gives me back more energy than goes into it, so. I doubt I'll ever leave fanfic entirely.

Outside of fanfic, I've been to several conventions over the years, mostly with family and friends, and have spent probably too much money on POPs and autographs and branded LEGOs and logo'ed clothing and tie-in novels. (Not to mention Disney Plus.) But it gives me joy. And it gives many other people joy. And ... well, the very last conversation I ever had with my dad before his sudden death was the weekend I got back from getting Shatner's autograph, geeking out with him about it. Being a fan has just always been part of my identity, and always will be. *shrug*

I really don't know what's made the last couple of years worse (depression-wise) than the ones immediately after my father's death. Maybe I felt more pressure to complete things for him, I don't know. Maybe it's just that reaching a Certain Age still single and turning into the Maiden Aunt is getting to me. *sigh* Whatever the reason, I've had a real struggle with energy and inspiration the last couple of years. So, yeah, 2019 was a continuing disappointment on the fic front.

But at least it was better than 2018. getyourwordsout was a help there; I did manage to write a few stories just for me, in addition to the usual exchanges I signed up for to push myself into at least getting *one* thing up per month! Now if only I could muster the energy to tackle my old prompt lists and WIPs, right?

Goals for 2020: may the trend continue upward. (Signing up for getyourwordsout again!)

( On to the list of fic! )

So, 2017 happened. Moving to a new apartment when the family members I'd been living with sold their house with no warning, my aunt's flooding woes in Missouri, and my mom's transitioning from 15 hours a week to a full-time job all combined to eat a lot of my writing time and motivation this year. Stress always saps my energy as it is; it's a damn good thing I'm finally making good money, or the steep increase in expenses due to the move would have made things a lot, lot worse. It's bad enough that I've had to go back to planning every indulgence months in advance, until my car payment goes away in three years. *sigh*

I ended up doing more exchanges than usual to give myself a nudge to actually write (deadlines are good for that), which I think on balance helped? The timing of everything really derailed my BAH plans, though. And I still didn't finish the 2015 Wishlist, though I did at least make progress, and what's left is mostly crossovers with one of two very research-heavy fandoms. (Has it really been that long since SG-1 finished airing? And since Butcher published his last Dresden Files novel? Argh.)

Anyway, TL;DR fic meme, here we go!

( 2017 Fanfiction Totals )

( Breakdown of Fic, by Category and Length: )

( The Year In Review )

Past analysis posts: 2016 | 2015 | 2014 | 2013 | 2012 | 2011 | 2010| 2009 | 2008 | 2007a & 2007b | 2006