jedibuttercup: (eliot)
[personal profile] jedibuttercup
T; B:tVS/Leverage; Buffy/Eliot; 1400 words. Follow-up to Going For a Slay Ride. For [livejournal.com profile] twistedshorts.

Little as Buffy liked to think about the passage of time, it had been the better part of a decade since she and Eliot had started this non-relationship relationship.



Title: Dating By Die Hard Rules
Author: Jedi Buttercup
Disclaimer: The words are mine; the worlds are not.
Rating: T/PG-13
Spoilers: Post-series for B:tVS; Season 1 of Leverage: Redemption.
Notes: Follow-up to Going for a Slay Ride, which I wrote in August 2015. I didn't think I'd have the time or energy to participate in the August challenge this year, but I guess I'm going to have at least a few entries? :)

Little as Buffy liked to think about the passage of time, it had been the better part of a decade since she and Eliot had started this non-relationship relationship.



"They fought off a wraith?" Buffy wasn't sure whether to feel more alarmed or impressed-- or maybe amused-- at the indignant tone in Eliot's voice.

Outside the kitchen window, the neighborhood trees were a riot of all the glorious shades of fall. Since the actual supernatural world tended to go quiet for All Hallow's Eve, she'd taken the opportunity to visit Willow and Kennedy in the Pacific Northwest this year. There was just enough bite in the air to justify breaking out the pretty floral scarf Eliot had sent her for her last birthday; when she'd seen his name on the caller ID, it had seemed like the perfect cap for her day. Holidays, Eliot, and unique retrieval jobs just went together like peanut butter and chocolate.

Okay, so she'd jinxed herself on the job idea. But talking to Eliot was never a terrible time, no matter how ridiculous he was being. He'd been working with these people-- most of them, anyway-- for more than a decade now. If they weren't just as capable as he was, Leverage International would never have even become a thing.

But then again, Buffy would probably have been just as flail-y if it had been Dawn in that sort of situation. A wraith, despite the insubstantial name, was nothing to mess around with.

"No, not a wraith," Eliot replied, tone gruff and aggrieved. "The Wraith."

"Like, what. A capital letter-y Master type? Huh; I've never heard of that one." Maybe it did deserve the drama, then. She wrinkled her nose, then set her coffee cup down on the counter and poked at her best friend's laptop to wake it up. It was the work-business one with the stake logo sticker that she always left out; that meant it had a link to the current Demons! Demons! Demons! database. If Eliot's bad guy had a boss name, then it should be in there.

Eliot snorted, some of the tension audibly seeping out of his tone. "That's because he's from my world, not yours. International assassin. Superstitious, not supernatural. Not only did they take down a guy I'd have hesitated to go up against cold with a haunted house; they took him down with a fake haunted house, using another con's tools."

Buffy blinked, then shut the laptop again. "While you were half a world away," she completed the thought. "Wow. Did they know who he was?"

"Yeah. I make sure Parker knows who all the key players are; a lot of 'em don't bother with us because of me, but the ones who would anyway aren't the kind you want to play games with. She just didn't have much choice this time because the guy had Sophie."

Little as Buffy liked to think about the passage of time, she'd already been thirty-ish when she and Eliot had started this friends-with-bennies, hit each other up for a distraction when they got bored, bitch about their friends and family, occasionally heat up the sheets, non-relationship relationship. He was roughly seven years older than she was; that made him forty-mumble now, way past what the hitter had considered his original sell-by date. He'd lived to see the students surpass the master... or, at least not entirely drop the ball while he was out of the picture. All that mother-henning he'd teased her about when she'd griped about the Potentials-no-Longer: look not into the abyss, for it looks back into you.

"So they put the fear of actual ghosts into him? Well, that makes more sense now that I know he's not one," she replied, wryly. "Still. Feels kinda like that 'you had one job' meme now, doesn't it?"

There was another snort on the other end of the line; then her name growled, warningly. "Buffy."

"What?" she teased back. "I'm commiserating here. Totally with the sympathy. Not with the schadenfreude-y. No sir, not me."

Whatever he would have replied to that was interrupted by a sudden, second voice speaking delightedly in the background. Slayer hearing easily picked up every word. "Wait, Buffy? Is that the girlfriend? The badass, beautiful girlfriend Alec says you like to pretend you don't have?"

"What?" Eliot objected, sputtering at the distraction. "No."

"No that it's Buffy, no that she's your girlfriend, or no, you don't pretend anything?" the younger voice teased again.

"Wait, is that Hardison's little sister? Breanna?" Buffy interjected. Huh; Eliot must actually trust her, not just tolerate her for his partners' sake, if he'd relaxed enough for her to sneak up on him.

She'd been a little worried about that; going from their well-oiled machine of three to two plus an older part that might or might not be rusty, a brand-new accessory whose quality they weren't yet sure of, and an untested next-gen replacement was always going to have some rough spots while everyone adapted, totally apart from nailing Eliot down in mostly one place for the first time in years. Buffy wouldn't say she'd been concerned, exactly, but... well, maybe just a little. He would have been a lot more tense if he'd been worried, though.

"None of your business, that's what," Eliot blustered, ignoring her and answering definitely-Breanna in best big sibling fashion.

Of course, Buffy recognized Breanna's tone, too. Sharp little sisters didn't deflect that easily; they just upped their game.

"Not like I'm judging," Breanna replied sweetly. "If it's the dating other people sometimes too thing, you're not gonna shock me with the concept of open relationships or, I don't know, polycules." Eliot sputtered again at that, and Buffy had to stifle a laugh as Breanna continued. "As long as everyone knows the score, it's all cool. But you've dated this one often enough that Alec knows her name. And Parker smiles when he says it. C'mon, man. Don't tell me she isn't badass."

"She's got you there," Buffy said, grinning through the words. He couldn't say she wasn't without insulting her; but couldn't say she was without confirming Breanna's suspicions, either. "Tell her, well played; and wouldn't she like to know."

He lowered his voice for a moment as he replied, voice slightly muffled like he was cupping his other hand around the phone. "Sure you want me to say that? You know she's gonna take it as a challenge."

"Good. It's been a while since anyone really tested Willow's cyber defenses; it'll be interesting to see how far she gets," Buffy replied. "Besides. I've been thinking about Thanksgiving in New Orleans this year. She isn't totally wrong, you know; even Dawnie's taken to making hints about visiting the nearest Brick & Basil truck when I start getting bored."

If they were ever trying to keep the other's identity quiet to protect them from the fallout of their own reputations, that ship had long since sailed. And if it was more about the fact that neither of them really believed themselves relationship material... it had been the better part of a decade since they'd first hooked up. After Spike and Angel and the Immortal, Buffy had decided that maybe cookies were permanently off the menu; and maybe they still were, but maybe it was time to acknowledge that other kinds of dessert were perfectly satisfying, too. She wasn't settling, or incomplete, or lesser for being the 'maiden aunt' with the extremely badass quasi-boyfriend rather than living the more traditional life she'd daydreamed about as a teenager. The world wasn't going to end if she and Eliot took a step further than dating by Die Hard rules and finally put faces to their holiday-partner's stories.

"You sure about that, darlin'?" he said, voice warm enough to make her stomach go wibbly.

"What's not to be sure about?" Buffy replied in kind, heart full. "Besides. Your holiday cooking? Way better than mine, and I'm not ashamed to say so. That's the official story, and I'm sticking to it."

"I'll look forward to it, then," Eliot smoldered, then raised his voice again and passed on her message.

From the excited squeal and the "oh, it's on," Buffy gathered that the challenge had gone over as intended.

And if a couple of weeks later, a photo of Glenn the Savage and his mighty dragon dropped into Buffy's council email from an anonymous sender, completely bypassing Willow's usual spam protocols... yeah, it was totally worth it.

She replied with a line of laughing-so-hard-I'm-crying smiley faces and booked her plane ticket.


(x-posted on twistedshorts and on AO3)

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