Drabble: The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny (A:tS, Clueless)

[jedibuttercup]

PG-13; A:tS/Clueless. 200 words. (Complete and total crack, to balance out the last one).

It was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw.

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Title: The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
Author: Jedi Buttercup
Disclaimer: The words are mine; the worlds are not.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A:tS/Clueless. It was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw. 200 words
Notes: Complete and total crack, to balance out the last one. Spoilers for "Not Fade Away" (A:tS 5.22). Lyrics to the title song available here. Flash animation viewable here.

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When Angel had committed his team to fight the Black Thorn army, he hadn't quite realized the full scope of the battle they'd be facing. He'd imagined a few hours' struggle in the rainswept night: he, Spike, and Illyria swarmed by a mob in a familiar alley.

Unfortunately, the Black Thorn sent not a mob, but all forty thousand of Archduke Sebassis' soldiery: more than any one alley could hold. More than any three warriors could defeat in nine hours of darkness, unless they could each somehow slay one demon every 2.5 seconds.

When others-- Slayers, Hunters, hockey-stick-wielding wizards, spandex-clad freaks, military uniforms, and more-- began joining in, he was both baffled and relieved. He hadn't known so many heroes existed in the world. But as the fight wore on-- and on-- for days under unnatural cloudcover, he sank into exhausted disbelief. Godzilla ate the dragon? A yellow-and-black Camaro provided cover fire? Sure. Whatever.

The fight swallowed them all; in the end, only one remained standing.

"One vampire left," the designer-clad blonde sighed. "Too bad; he's kind of a Baldwin."

Angel's last sight, as he sprawled half-conscious, was Cher Horowitz's shapely leg-- driving a spiked wooden heel into his chest.

-~-

(x-posted to tthdrabbles)

Comments

[satyrnfive.livejournal.com]

http://www.tthfanfic.com/Story-10658-27/Saturn+Agents+of+the+C+O+A.htm

Great minds must think alike. ;)

[jedibuttercup]

*grin* I hadn't noticed that one before. Much fun.

[glam-geek.livejournal.com]

*snort*
I can just imagine the silent horror after this little debacle...
Cher looked down at the dusty remains of the vampire she had so righteously speared. Glancing up into the suddenly quiet alley she noticed that all activity had stopped and the outlandishly garbed crowd stared, aghast, in her direction. Biting her perfectly frosted lower lip she stared back and whined,"What?"

[jedibuttercup]

Hee. Taken down by a Valley Girl-- just not in the way they'd always assumed he would be. =)

[sulien.livejournal.com]

I loved this! *snicker* Poor Angel, taken out by yet another Valley Girl. I especially enjoyed the reference to a hockey-stick-wielding wizard (I'm a bit biased in Harry's favor), but I'm afraid I have no idea as to which fandom the yellow and black striped Camaro is from.

[jedibuttercup]

I had to throw in Harry, as long as I was mixing it up anyway. Much love for my new fictional boyfriend (he ranks in my personal top four, along with Malcolm Reynolds, Wesley Wyndham-Price, and Daniel Jackson).

The yellow and black Camaro is from the new Transformers 2007 movie: he's Bumblebee.

[sulien.livejournal.com]

Ah, okay. I haven't seen "Transformers" yet.

Hee! So glad that Harry Dresden is now in your top four! That means we're more likely to see stories with him as a character.

By the way, I hope you're doing well there in Oregon. I don't know if you're close to the coast or not, but I hear the Oregon coast has been hit as hard as we have (I'm in Ocean Shores on the Washington coast). Right now I'm getting my car worked on in town and swiping power and bandwidth from the nice folks here at the auto center (power will be out in the small town where I live for another 5-10 days).